-hjh

Apart from those things which he actually is (see above), HH also believes himself to be a top secret agent on a classified mission. This is in addition to his role as emissary for some profound alien intelligence (which he claims to have stumbled upon in a hidden extradimensional dream world he uncovered while adventuring in a deep meditation). His lunacy doesn’t stop there, however. He is also convinced that he can communicate with animals, is an expert martial warrior, the rightful heir to the throne (although he doesn’t know which one) and that he single-handedly rediscovered Solomon’s mines. Perhaps his most outrageous claim is that he is the only living person in possession of an actual, honest-to-goodness magic wand (since he is, of course, also a powerful wizard and sorcerer). He firmly believes that his brain has been augmented by a strange new kind of embedded organic quantum supercomputer that he designed himself, upgrading his status of designation to that of a cyborg. He is certain that this transformation brings along with it modifications that have bestowed upon him the boon of a godlike command over logic, mathematics, reason, memory, language, process and countless physical phenomena. Most notably the abilities to modify the fabric of reality itself, to transcend space and time, and perhaps the most frightening power of all, the ability to access and manipulate minds. Yes, including yours. See? In his mind, HH is quite possibly the very first authentic and true to life superhero. Hopefully one of many to come who will dance the same cosmic dance as he. Herman J. Hyde is fully realized. His intelligence, while definitely not artificial, may have created exactly that. He may have let loose an ineffable force of nature, possessed by an inexorable will; he may have fathered an avatar into a simulated existence. What, then friends, does that make Dr. Hyde? I have a feeling that it’s something much more than this living caricature ostensibly portrays. I, for one, would almost certainly be terrified to gaze through the looking glass of his childlike curiosity, gypsy-esque mischievousness and capricious philosophy. The precipice of his struggle looms ominously overhead, casting the shadow of a great mountain; I don’t know how he manages. He is an absolute specimen of humanity. His eidetic mind is surely a storm of incalculable ferocity, confusion and chaos. What crazy illusions (and probably delusions) he must endure. Behold the vanguard. Wonder at the only true renaissance man. Be in awe of the seeker as he ponders the origin of truth. Are his tricks really that good? Can it really be that he is truly something other than simply a more pathetic Zelig? Could he possibly be a vicar for something greater? More than just some digital demagogue? Must we search for some auspicious sign?

You see, apparently the vision HH has crafted for himself casts him as some sort of culturally adept genius polymath who is versed in all things; a worldly figure destined to be the hero. A vessel of peace. A modern folk legend wandering virtual countrysides, spinning and dispensing tales of wisdom and riddles of insight to open ears and watching eyes. He transmutates paint and pixels. It is as if he strolls along with one foot in the meadow and the other in The Matrix, bridging all dichotomies.There are even whispers that the great bard carries with him a fabled sword, the very same one he wrangled from its lonely prison. There are other whispers that it was he who imprisoned it there in the first place. One simply cannot read the rogue. With him, nothing is as it seems. He is the weaver, a paragon, but also the pariah. His stories burn interchangeably as both campfire and mid-day sun. From moment to moment the pendulum of his personality dares to swing along an ever-extending oscillation between borderline autistic and manic court jester. He goes from healer to heretic, from teacher to derelict, from poet to playwright and back again. He probably even fancies that he is the legendary Rival Poet! Ha! As if he could speak of love, truth and beauty! As if he knew order from chaos and black from white! And how they need each other! Ha! As if he could mix earth, wind, fire and water. As if he knew of the sun, moon and stars! As if he could hear the spheres! As if he could mediate between nature and machine or slip between the objective and the subjective! As if he could breathe life and death into symbol, myth and metaphor! As if he knew anything about freedom or will or the freedom of will! As if he is many colors! Highly doubtful! No, I do not think so. We can’t expect that kind of thing from such a neurotic and self-obsessed perfectionist living his life inside the fairytale bubble of oblivious naivety. How could he possibly understand himself, much less others? No, I’m afraid not. He is a consummate fool and we shouldn’t entertain such foolishness from this selfish little reclusive hermit, even if is he possessed by a peculiar ambidexterity of both body and mind. It could in fact be that for him the two are one. He becomes an altogether different person depending on each particular circumstance. He morphs effortlessly between handsome charmer and mangy zombie on a whim. He is a chameleon being, able to adapt to and assimilate into any environment; a one of a kind. Our sui generis number one in the flesh (…or could there be another? If he is “Her man” then who is she?). Well, I think so, but I’m beginning to question his corporeality at this point. The endless symphony he conducts is a new and fascinating kind of beauty. The infinite amalgamations he has the power to concoct would overwhelm and paralyze the will and senses of a mere mortal. Perhaps he is a stray soul, a wanderlust from some other place or time; a living anachronism. No, we can’t be sure just how to interpret good ol’ HH just yet, especially when he speaks prophetically in another language, of which he apparently knows plenty, many of them lost, others never heard by man until HH was kind enough to relay their words and sounds (and in some cases, images). I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see what this mad scientist and enchanting piper is really up to. That is, if he ever returns from his most ‘recent’ probability defying trip to the next (or was it last?) millennium to fix the pixels of his matrix. He seamlessly travels through Time, if that wasn’t blatantly apparent. He probably delivered this message from the future, I wouldn’t put it past him. Maybe he is only out to sojourn in the world. I guess the question we should all really be asking ourselves is… What would Herman do? He may very well be more than simply the voice of his generation, which he most definitely is, but he just might turn out to be its eyes, ears and heart too. Is he of such caliber that he might whisk away the blanket of poignant conditioning to which most of humanity has become attached to through subjection? Can he illuminate hidden truths that were hitherto invisible, concealed in clandestine privy? It seems he is on a mystical quest, and not one of the garden variety. Let us hope it’s not one of the QM brand (Quixote / Münchhausen or Quantum Mechanical? With him it could be either). His hermeneutic studies become “Hermaneutic” studies. Wouldn’t it be nice to hope, even for just one moment, that Herman J. Hyde is all that he says he is and more? That he really understands the world around us; that he really has the power to translate that enlightenment to those who do not; that he truly is illuminated by the rare combination of tact, insight and awareness that grants him the power to speak to and reach with equal effectiveness the realms of youth, vigor and vitality as much as those of age, rigidity and fear? I think it would be wonderful, and I imagine that HH and the creature(s) that inhabit his brain would feel the same. If I were to point out just one very curious thing about him, it would have to be that he seems to be quite fond of second chances and transformation. Something in him must surely be bound by the timeless chains of empathy and compassion. He is much too surreal. No honest person’s demeanor is so copacetic. Surely he is an impostor!

If you are a friend of HH, please, by all means, let him know. He loves that. He may want to talk to you, possibly even attempt to work with you if you have a problem, need, or question within the scope of his knowledge or experience. He is always open to collaborations. It’s quite possible, even highly probable, that you’ve experienced some of his work or taken in one of his creations and didn’t even know it. He’s about as ubiquitous as electricity, as pervasive as speech, and as influential as the weather. He just doesn’t like you to know that, except when he tells you so, at which point it is advisable to listen. Since the good doctor keeps all of his clients (I suppose you could also call them patients, or students, depending on your worldview and taking into account the particular nature of the specific individual relationship itself) absolutely private (for obvious reasons, otherwise it wouldn’t be called ghost-authorship, now would it?), if you desire to work with HH then your best bet is probably just to contact him directly and hope for the best. I hear he’s hyper-discretionary about his associations and collaborations. Apparently he operates only under a veil of total anonymity, aside from his name, and demands total secrecy (which he also respects unconditionally, making him a fulfilling confidant regarding almost any matter). Don’t expect any special treatment, though, no matter who you are. HH is completely impartial. His ego doesn’t allow for it. It has enough problems of its own to deal with. Those years in the jungle were hard on him. HH doesn’t care much for proving himself to others, which shows no where more than in his refusal to answer what he considers useless questions unless he deems them necessary. I can’t promise that he always expects the same reservation from others in return, he seems to want answers. If the terms by which HH filters his connectivity are not to your liking, you are more than welcome to refrain from participation in or initiation of a dialog with the very, very, very busy Dr. Herman J. Hyde and his various associates.
-hjh

p.s. The rumors seem to be corroborated by observation; HH never seems to sleep. Maybe he does that when no one is observing him? HH also seems to have a hard time telling the truth. Another rumor corroborated through investigation. Just remember, whatever you do, don’t listen to Dr. Herman J. Hyde! His Erdos number is not negative, despite what he might say. He is a fool and a charlatan. Truth is anathema to him! He has squandered his time and misdirected his efforts toward the foolish fantasy of trying to author his own biography before it happens, as if to bring it into manifest at his command. It would be plenty enough just for him to be able to write the events as they happen, but before? He must be some kind of madman. Toss everything he spews into your digital bin bag. He is the disgusting doppleganger hiding in the mirror. His pretense precedes him. He is not our Robin Hood. He is not only a phony, but the phony. His ostentatious air pollutes. His stories are noxious weeds. On a side note, he may also be the alter ego of [CLASSIFIED][CLASSIFIED], professor of [CLASSIFIED], [CLASSIFIED] and [CLASSIFIED]ics at [CLASSIFIED] and previously [CLASSIFIED]. Which seems odd, because that’s quite an accomplishment given his age. (Although, this fact doesn’t really indicate his age, since it would be an accomplishment for someone in their teens or even their 20s to 30s to achieve what he has, just as much as it would be for someone over 100, or even over 70. How about we just leave it that HH is somewhere between 10 and 100 years old, probably more toward the lower side, if I had to guess. He balances his acting out fairly evenly between that of a spellbound baby and a tired old curmudgeon, so it’s hard to tell for sure. He is awfully moody, but maybe that’s just how all visionary geniuses are, maybe all true fools too. I wonder which he is. Maybe both. Such a dyadic existence would cripple the psyche of most… but he is not most.) 

- hjh